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Learn Me Good - John Pearson
Learn Me Good
John Pearson
ISBN: 9781411665897
Lulu.com
Reviewed By Janet Pearson
Official Apex Reviews Rating:
Learn Me Good tracks the weekly correspondence sent between Jack Woodson and his former co-worker, Fred Bommerson. Having been laid off by Heat Pumps Unlimited, a thermal design firm in Texas, Jack pursues a new career path, spurred mainly by the enjoyment he's always derived from working with kids. With a natural knack for math & science, he becomes a third-grade teacher, embarking upon new adventures in the field of public education - the magnitude of which he can only imagine.
Jack quickly adapts to his new responsibilities, even quipping to Fred about the status report he'll soon send to the Alumni Office at his alma mater, Duke University:
"Jack M. Woodson (Duke engineering, class of '95) is currently living and working in Dallas, TX. He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers."
Thus begins Pearson's tale, an engaging study in the real education that goes on in the classroom, outside of textbooks, hall passes, and morning announcements. With its subtle cynicism, biting wit, and endless allusions to pop culture, Learn Me Good draws you in with just how easily Jack's everyday experiences with eight– and nine-year-old children parallels that which we experience with full-grown adults on the job, at home, and everywhere else.
Without apology, Pearson takes jabs at every aspect of what passes for normalcy among today's childrearing practices. He even pulls off this commentary on the conduct of a school district representative assigned to check the students' eyesight with sardonic aplomb:
"She felt that some kids may not WANT to wear glasses, so she made her pitch, and I quote: 'I think glasses are SEXY!'...Should you really use the word 'sexy' around eight– and nine-year-olds? It's like airing a commercial for Bacardi rum in the middle of an episode of Sesame Street (Today's episode is brought to you by the letter B and the number 151!)"
And consider this assessment of the real priorities of today's youth:
"Chassity had been caught writing a note to one of the other girls. The gist of the note was basically 'You're a witch. Who's a witch? You are, you witch.' And on, and on. Only, she didn't use the word 'witch,' instead preferring a more socially unacceptable rhyming word. Kelly and I had joked about the fact that nearly all of the words in the note were misspelled EXCEPT for that one word."
Pearson tramps the hallowed ground of public education with piercing wit and unrelenting irreverence, giving it a not-so-good-natured - but much needed - ribbing. He even takes a fair swipe at the current presidential approach to education:
"No Child Left Behind? No Child Left Untested Till He's Blue In The Face is more like it"
It's not always fun and games, though. Throughout his narrative, Pearson does an effective job of pointing out the various nuances of public education that rarely bring about smiles and laughter. Chief among these is the concept of mobility rate: the tendency of students to enroll and withdraw at the school at an alarming frequency. He even goes so far as to make the point that merely weeks into the new school year some teachers could have an entirely different class of students, which often makes them ruefully aware of the attachments that come and go:
"Why can't the good ones stay?? I know, I'm being selfish, I'll admit it. I'm just afraid when a good kid leaves, because it just opens a hole for another Mark Peter to come in."
Considering the fact that Mark Peter routinely steals teachers' items and physically terrorizes other students, one can hardly blame Jack for this sentiment.
Timely, insightful, and absolutely hilarious, Learn Me Good needs to be required reading for anyone considering teaching as a profession. Much like the crip notes for War & Peace, it's an indispensable guide to all the real training you'll never formally get.
Apex Reviews: John, thanks for giving us the pleasure of reviewing Learn Me Good, as well as for joining us for this interview. We truly appreciate it.
It's clear that Learn Me Good entails more than just a teacher's experiences with third grade children - in fact, it seems like a veritable microcosm for everyday life. Was that intentional from the start, or did you happen upon that as you were writing it?
John Pearson: When I first set out to write Learn Me Good, it was because I had garnered so many funny stories from my first year as a teacher. But I didn't want to go through all of the trappings of the traditional narrative. So I decided to tell my story through e-mails. I had an idea to frame each anecdote in an e-mail to a former colleague at the engineering firm where I used to work. I think this format is what makes the book feel so contemporary. Everyone can relate to the pacing of the electronic correspondence, and transitions aren't necessary between topics. So I was able to jump from wisecracks about the engineering company straight into crazy occurrences in the classroom. Along the way, I could throw in pop culture references and observations on life in general, so that it wasn't so intensely focused on neat little rows of half-sized desks and chalkboards.
AR: Every amusing anecdote involving "problem children" like Marvin, Mark, Peter, and Lucifer was absolutely hilarious. In fact, all your descriptions of the children in your story were dead-on, and not mere caricatures. How were you able to so accurately depict their traits and mannerisms?
JP: Well, almost all of the stories involving the children were based on real events. In other words, "Marvin" really DID try to choke another kid, forge his mother's signature, and tell everyone that he tasted like chicken. Mark Peter really DID tell me that he picnics in the snow, and so on. The kernels for the stories were pretty easy, as I had actually lived through them. Then I was able to embellish and add snarky commentary to fill out the chapters.
As for the references to my former colleagues in the engineering world, many of them are based on real experiences as well, but a lot of them were created for the story.
AR: How did you come up with some of the amusing stories and adventures of the kids - do many, if not all, of them stem from your own childhood?
JP: There are a couple of references to my childhood throughout the book. In particular, I tell one memorable story about a dispute that my brother and I had over a McDonald's Happy Meal prize -- and our father's unique solution. But like I said before, the kids in my class that first year provided their own stories and adventures.
AR: Do you think there's any hope for No Child Left Behind?
JP: I have a big problem with a lot of aspects of No Child Left behind. I think in theory, it's a good idea, but it hasn't been implemented as well as we might have hoped. Having taught for four years now (which means I've officially been a teacher longer than I was an engineer), I have come to dread the Standardized Test, regardless of which particular acronym it might be going by at the time. We need to find some way to truly assess a student's growth in a class, not just whether or not they can hit a mark on an exam.
AR: What improvements would you suggest could be made in the public education system that would reduce the growing problems currently plaguing it?
JP: Good quality teachers are a must. There are many, many of them out there, but there are also many, many poor teachers out there. Teachers who are just pulling a paycheck. Every classroom needs a highly certified teacher, and a teacher's performance should not be based solely on his/her class's test scores. I think that as long as raises and salary increases are based on students' exam scores, there will be more and more cheating and dishonesty.
AR: When it comes to education, do you think teachers need more help from parents, or does it appear sometimes that less parental involvement is actually better?
JP: I teach at a school where there is very little parental involvement. It's often quite difficult to get a parent up to the school for a conference, or sometimes even just to get them on the phone! And kids are much less likely to care about doing their homework or doing well in school when they know their parents don't care one way or the other. So I would definitely love to have more interest and enthusiasm from parents.
AR: What are your overall plans for the book?
JP: I would love for everyone who is in the field of education, or who is thinking about getting INTO the teaching field, to read Learn Me Good. Sometimes the job can be very frustrating, and it can be hard to see the humor. I think that veteran teachers can look at this book and say, "Yeah, I've been there. He nailed it." And education students can get a rough idea of what to expect in their near future. I also think that people who are not involved with teaching at all would enjoy the funny stories about kids and get a true glimpse into the (not quite so easy as they might think) life of an educator.
AR: Even though there appear to be many, what's the main message you want readers to take away from Learn Me Good?
JP: The main message is that teaching is a very noble profession. We're not saints, we poke fun at our kids, our colleagues, and ourselves, but we're dedicated to improving children's lives.
AR: Anything else you'd like our readers to know?
JP: Learn Me Good is a compilation of experiences from my first year as a teacher, but I've been keeping a continuing blog with updated stories. They can be found at http://learnmegood2.blogspot.com.
AR: Thanks again, John, and best of continued success to you in all your endeavors!
JP: Thank you.
John Pearson
ISBN: 9781411665897
Lulu.com
Reviewed By Janet Pearson
Official Apex Reviews Rating:
Learn Me Good tracks the weekly correspondence sent between Jack Woodson and his former co-worker, Fred Bommerson. Having been laid off by Heat Pumps Unlimited, a thermal design firm in Texas, Jack pursues a new career path, spurred mainly by the enjoyment he's always derived from working with kids. With a natural knack for math & science, he becomes a third-grade teacher, embarking upon new adventures in the field of public education - the magnitude of which he can only imagine.
Jack quickly adapts to his new responsibilities, even quipping to Fred about the status report he'll soon send to the Alumni Office at his alma mater, Duke University:
"Jack M. Woodson (Duke engineering, class of '95) is currently living and working in Dallas, TX. He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers."
Thus begins Pearson's tale, an engaging study in the real education that goes on in the classroom, outside of textbooks, hall passes, and morning announcements. With its subtle cynicism, biting wit, and endless allusions to pop culture, Learn Me Good draws you in with just how easily Jack's everyday experiences with eight– and nine-year-old children parallels that which we experience with full-grown adults on the job, at home, and everywhere else.
Without apology, Pearson takes jabs at every aspect of what passes for normalcy among today's childrearing practices. He even pulls off this commentary on the conduct of a school district representative assigned to check the students' eyesight with sardonic aplomb:
"She felt that some kids may not WANT to wear glasses, so she made her pitch, and I quote: 'I think glasses are SEXY!'...Should you really use the word 'sexy' around eight– and nine-year-olds? It's like airing a commercial for Bacardi rum in the middle of an episode of Sesame Street (Today's episode is brought to you by the letter B and the number 151!)"
And consider this assessment of the real priorities of today's youth:
"Chassity had been caught writing a note to one of the other girls. The gist of the note was basically 'You're a witch. Who's a witch? You are, you witch.' And on, and on. Only, she didn't use the word 'witch,' instead preferring a more socially unacceptable rhyming word. Kelly and I had joked about the fact that nearly all of the words in the note were misspelled EXCEPT for that one word."
Pearson tramps the hallowed ground of public education with piercing wit and unrelenting irreverence, giving it a not-so-good-natured - but much needed - ribbing. He even takes a fair swipe at the current presidential approach to education:
"No Child Left Behind? No Child Left Untested Till He's Blue In The Face is more like it"
It's not always fun and games, though. Throughout his narrative, Pearson does an effective job of pointing out the various nuances of public education that rarely bring about smiles and laughter. Chief among these is the concept of mobility rate: the tendency of students to enroll and withdraw at the school at an alarming frequency. He even goes so far as to make the point that merely weeks into the new school year some teachers could have an entirely different class of students, which often makes them ruefully aware of the attachments that come and go:
"Why can't the good ones stay?? I know, I'm being selfish, I'll admit it. I'm just afraid when a good kid leaves, because it just opens a hole for another Mark Peter to come in."
Considering the fact that Mark Peter routinely steals teachers' items and physically terrorizes other students, one can hardly blame Jack for this sentiment.
Timely, insightful, and absolutely hilarious, Learn Me Good needs to be required reading for anyone considering teaching as a profession. Much like the crip notes for War & Peace, it's an indispensable guide to all the real training you'll never formally get.
Official Apex Reviews Interview: John Pearson (Learn Me Good)
Apex Reviews: John, thanks for giving us the pleasure of reviewing Learn Me Good, as well as for joining us for this interview. We truly appreciate it.
It's clear that Learn Me Good entails more than just a teacher's experiences with third grade children - in fact, it seems like a veritable microcosm for everyday life. Was that intentional from the start, or did you happen upon that as you were writing it?
John Pearson: When I first set out to write Learn Me Good, it was because I had garnered so many funny stories from my first year as a teacher. But I didn't want to go through all of the trappings of the traditional narrative. So I decided to tell my story through e-mails. I had an idea to frame each anecdote in an e-mail to a former colleague at the engineering firm where I used to work. I think this format is what makes the book feel so contemporary. Everyone can relate to the pacing of the electronic correspondence, and transitions aren't necessary between topics. So I was able to jump from wisecracks about the engineering company straight into crazy occurrences in the classroom. Along the way, I could throw in pop culture references and observations on life in general, so that it wasn't so intensely focused on neat little rows of half-sized desks and chalkboards.
AR: Every amusing anecdote involving "problem children" like Marvin, Mark, Peter, and Lucifer was absolutely hilarious. In fact, all your descriptions of the children in your story were dead-on, and not mere caricatures. How were you able to so accurately depict their traits and mannerisms?
JP: Well, almost all of the stories involving the children were based on real events. In other words, "Marvin" really DID try to choke another kid, forge his mother's signature, and tell everyone that he tasted like chicken. Mark Peter really DID tell me that he picnics in the snow, and so on. The kernels for the stories were pretty easy, as I had actually lived through them. Then I was able to embellish and add snarky commentary to fill out the chapters.
As for the references to my former colleagues in the engineering world, many of them are based on real experiences as well, but a lot of them were created for the story.
AR: How did you come up with some of the amusing stories and adventures of the kids - do many, if not all, of them stem from your own childhood?
JP: There are a couple of references to my childhood throughout the book. In particular, I tell one memorable story about a dispute that my brother and I had over a McDonald's Happy Meal prize -- and our father's unique solution. But like I said before, the kids in my class that first year provided their own stories and adventures.
AR: Do you think there's any hope for No Child Left Behind?
JP: I have a big problem with a lot of aspects of No Child Left behind. I think in theory, it's a good idea, but it hasn't been implemented as well as we might have hoped. Having taught for four years now (which means I've officially been a teacher longer than I was an engineer), I have come to dread the Standardized Test, regardless of which particular acronym it might be going by at the time. We need to find some way to truly assess a student's growth in a class, not just whether or not they can hit a mark on an exam.
AR: What improvements would you suggest could be made in the public education system that would reduce the growing problems currently plaguing it?
JP: Good quality teachers are a must. There are many, many of them out there, but there are also many, many poor teachers out there. Teachers who are just pulling a paycheck. Every classroom needs a highly certified teacher, and a teacher's performance should not be based solely on his/her class's test scores. I think that as long as raises and salary increases are based on students' exam scores, there will be more and more cheating and dishonesty.
AR: When it comes to education, do you think teachers need more help from parents, or does it appear sometimes that less parental involvement is actually better?
JP: I teach at a school where there is very little parental involvement. It's often quite difficult to get a parent up to the school for a conference, or sometimes even just to get them on the phone! And kids are much less likely to care about doing their homework or doing well in school when they know their parents don't care one way or the other. So I would definitely love to have more interest and enthusiasm from parents.
AR: What are your overall plans for the book?
JP: I would love for everyone who is in the field of education, or who is thinking about getting INTO the teaching field, to read Learn Me Good. Sometimes the job can be very frustrating, and it can be hard to see the humor. I think that veteran teachers can look at this book and say, "Yeah, I've been there. He nailed it." And education students can get a rough idea of what to expect in their near future. I also think that people who are not involved with teaching at all would enjoy the funny stories about kids and get a true glimpse into the (not quite so easy as they might think) life of an educator.
AR: Even though there appear to be many, what's the main message you want readers to take away from Learn Me Good?
JP: The main message is that teaching is a very noble profession. We're not saints, we poke fun at our kids, our colleagues, and ourselves, but we're dedicated to improving children's lives.
AR: Anything else you'd like our readers to know?
JP: Learn Me Good is a compilation of experiences from my first year as a teacher, but I've been keeping a continuing blog with updated stories. They can be found at http://learnmegood2.blogspot.com.
AR: Thanks again, John, and best of continued success to you in all your endeavors!
JP: Thank you.